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Women are magic creatures: they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, & can make boneless meat ROCK HARD!

I like to do things that the censors won't pass.

Nice pants..can I test the zipper?

Don't stick your tongue out unless you plan to use it!

Sex is evil. Evil's a sin. Sins are forgiven. So let's begin!

When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watching someone else doing it.